The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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