we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
