My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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