8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize