he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize