My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
