I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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