It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
