In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Less talking, more tequila
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
