I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
