awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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