Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
