I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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