I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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