Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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