Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
