You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
