Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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