never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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