There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
a search helicopter?!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
NoShamevember. You game?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
