gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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