She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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