so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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