so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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