Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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