May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
