So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize