office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
