I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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