the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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