So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
