Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
