He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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