I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize