please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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