Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
