I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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