I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
