I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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