You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
