This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
