Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
