The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
