Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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