so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
