Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize