I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
