take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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