There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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