Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
