I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
