just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
