when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
