I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
