So drunk its hurt
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He has the fingertips of a God
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