using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
