why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
