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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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